a. Accept the soldier you are trying to help without
censorship or ridicule. Accept his right to his own feelings.
Even though your feelings, beliefs, and behavior are different,
DO NOT blame or make light of him for the way he feels or acts.
Your purpose is to help him in this tough situation, not to be
his critic. A person DOES NOT WANT to be upset and worried; he
would "snap out of it" if he could. When he seeks help,
he needs and expects consideration of his fears, not abrupt dismissal
or accusations. You may be impressed with the fact that you
made it through in good condition. You have no guarantee that
the situation will not be reversed the next time.
b. Realize that people are the products of a wide variety
of factors. All persons DO NOT react the same way to the same
situations. Each individual has complex needs and motivations,
both conscious and unconscious, that are uniquely his own. Often,
the "straw that breaks the camel's back" the one thing
that finally causes the person to be overloaded by the stressful
situation is not the stressor itself, but some other problem.
Thus, an injury or an emotional catastrophe will have a personal
meaning for each individual. Even though you may not share the
reactions or feelings of another person and even though the reactions
seem foolish or peculiar, you must realize that he feels as he
does for a reason. You can help him most by
accepting this fact and by doing what you can for him during this
difficult time. He is doing the best he can under the circumstances.
Your positive assistance and trust may be what he needs to do
better.
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